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I'd like to apologize for the lack of postings these last few weeks. This site is a labor of love, but unfortunately, it doesn't pay the bills as well as I'd like, so I work another job to cover the rent/food/gasoline I so depend on. A couple of weeks ago, I finally got a job in journalism that's exponentially better than my old job was, but since that time, I've been so busy settling in I haven't been able to post here. But three weeks without updates is long enough. I owe you more. )

Wow! Our editor is one sappy son of a bitch, ain't he? God, you can't believe what we have to put up with, the sh...

Still here.

...eer number of nice things he does for us. He's so generous. And kind. Unfortunately, while his generosity is limitless, his credit card isn't, so we weren't able to personally go to this year's Geneva Auto Show. Thanks to the magic of the Interwebs, though, we can cover it like we were there! Isn't that awesome? In fact, forget the last three sentences. We DID go to the Geneva Auto Show, and it was out of this world! We've just been drunk on Toblerone the last couple weeks.

So, behold - our favorite cars from this year's Geneva Auto Show, presented in completely objective fashion by being ranked in order of how cool we think they are.

1. Porsche 918 Spyder concept

Just being a leaner, meaner, less El Camino-like successor to the Carrera GT would have probably been enough to land the 918 on the top of this list. Being a hybrid made it pretty much a shoo-in. But the real reason this bad mother(shut yo' mouth!) ranks as the coolest car of the Geneva Auto Show? Nobody had any idea it was coming. The Carrera GT only wrapped production four years ago. Who would have thought Porsche would bust out its replacement so quickly?

This baby is the future of the supercar, folks. This is what our children will be driving in their heads when they should be studying. Lightness fused with technology. A plug-in hybrid coupled to a powerful engine. Styling that doesn't shamelessly ape the past, but sets a brave new course without forgetting where it comes from.

The 918 Spyder concept comes equipped with a 3.4-liter V8 making more than 500 horsepower, combined with a plug-in battery-electric powertrain making a maximum of 218 horses. The electric motor drives the front wheels, the gasoline engine powers the rear tires through a seven-speed DSG. Porsche claims the car can go up to 16 miles on electric power alone, can achieve 94 mpg, yet also cook off 0-60 runs in 3.2 seconds and top out just under 200 mph. Don't be fooled by the "concept" moniker. Porsche has never made a concept they haven't produced in one way or another, and they're not gonna start now.

2. Ferrari 599 HY-KERS Hybrid

The bad news: rumors of an all-wheel-drive hybrid 599 were incorrect. The good news: going hybrid doesn't look like it'll make Ferraris any less fun. In fact, it'll just make living with one easier.

Which is certainly promising, given what could have been a piece of very ominous news: to conform with new EU regulations, very soon, every Ferrari might be a hybrid.

Whoa, whoa, whoa - no need to buy that Rapture insurance just yet. Judging by the 599 Hybrid, autophiles have nothing to fear. The concept features a 100-horsepower electric motor smooshed in with the seven-speed DSG transmission; at low speeds in town, the car can cruise along in electric mode, or the batteries can summon up a nitrous-like boost for the 612-horsepower 6.0 liter V12. Ferrari claims the 0-124 mph dash is shortened by 0.6 seconds over a stock 599.

Nobody outside of Ferrari has had any seat time in the 599 Hybrid yet, so we don't yet know what it'll be like to drive; however, given the company's entire multibillion dollar reputation is on the line, we're fairly optimistic Ferrari's legendary passion and performance will be pretty much unharmed by the hybrid conversion. In addition, we're hoping the presence of the dual-clutch gearbox here heralds its inclusion in the uber-bitchin' upcoming 599 GTO.

3. 2010 Audi RS5

We previewed the RS5 in our last post, and nothing's really changed, mechanically speaking - still a 450-horsepower 4.2 liter V8 with a seven-speed dual-clutch gearbox, still a body that'll make your girlfriend jealous, still causing hundreds of automotive to wake up with erections after dreaming about the eventual comparison with the BMW M3. Nothing we didn't know.

But that doesn't make it any less badass. Or make us want one any less. As much as we love the M3, quattro is handy if you ever venture into the snowy north.

4. 2011 Ruf 911 RGT-8

While perhaps best known as builder of the car Automobile Magazine accidentally incinerated during a post-supercar-comparo dance party with inopportune song selection ("No, dude, the Ruf is actually on fire! We do need water!"), Ruf has a long history of taking Porsches and, like Kanye West did to Daft Punk, making them harder, better, faster and stronger, then slapping their own name on it.

But so far as I'm concerned, this lime-green beaut can drive right in front of Taylor Swift at the next MTV Awards, because Ruf has done what no one thought could - build a 911 with a V8.

Developed and built in-house in just two years, the RGT-8's 4.5 liter engine pumps out 542 horsepower and 369 lb-ft, giving this naturally aspirated 911 more ponies than the new 911 Turbo S also unveiled at the show. Granted, it may not match the S's Kryptonian acceleration (Car and Driver ran the less powerful Turbo with 7-speed PDK from 0 to 60 in 2.9 seconds, which is about as long as it took us to string together the expletive chain we used when we heard that), but it gives us hope that if Porsche runs out of ways to make the 911's six-cylinder more powerful...life will find a way.

5. Lotus Evora 414E Hybrid Concept

This last spot on the list was neck-and-neck between the Evora and the Koenigsegg Agera. The Agera has 910 horsepower, a carbon fiber/aluminum chassis, a top speed of 245 mph and looks cooler than Timothy Olyphant in a gunfight.

But like the 918 Spyder, the Evora represents the future, a world of simultaneous pastry-consumption-and-preservation. Each rear wheel is powered by its own electric motor; together, they produce 408 horsepower - 132 horses more than the V6-powered production Evora, and 120 more than the Lotus Elise-based Tesla Roadster. Unlike the Tesla, though, the Evora Hybrid isn't limited to the amount of energy it can suck out of your wall; should the batteries dip low enough, a 1.2 liter three-cylinder engine kicks in to recharge the battery.

Regular Lotus Evora shown. But you didn't know that, did you?

Lotus says the three-cylinder produces a meager 47 horsepower, which means drivers could be in for an trouser-soiling surprise if the battery goes dead while trying to pass a minivan on a two-lane road. Since the engine isn't driving the wheels, it's not like the car will suddenly lose 85 percent of its horsepower - but if you believe the performance won't suffer significantly, then don't listen to Alfred Molina when he advises you to throw you the idol first.

Honorable Mention:

2010 Koenigsegg Agera:

Did you read the first paragraph about the Lotus?

2010 Brabus E V12 Coupe:

Since Christian Bale's Batman lost his Tumbler to Heath Ledger, I nominate this 788-horsepower, 1047 lb-ft beast to replace it. Let's see the Penguin fuck with this thing.

2010 Pagani Zonda Tricolore:

It pulls 1.45 lateral g, and while the 7.3 liter Mercedes-Benz/AMG-sourced V12 isn't new...it's still an enormous custom AMG V12. Plus, like the Highlander, There Can Be Only One.

Dishonorable Mention:

2011 Aston Martin Cygnet:

Somewhere, Sean Connery's balls have retreated into his body.

2011 Bentley Continental Flying Star by Touring Superleggera:

We were unaware anyone had asked for this.

Honda 3R-C Concept:

If there's one thing people want, it's a one-person electric scooter to replace walking around. How could that go wrong?

Yes, folks, that's the new Cayenne,  roaming wild and free for all to see. Of course, since the new Cayenne isn't supposed to be unveiled until the Geneva Auto Show a couple weeks from now, Porsche rapidly pulled the image off the site - but thankfully, not before at least one person snared a decent screenshot.

Car and Driver was lucky enough to take a spin in the next-gen Cayenne; in their February issue, writer/photographer/presumed bratwurst enthusiast/lucky son-of-a-bitch Juergen Zoellter states Cayenne 2.0 is about 440 pounds lighter than the current model - smart thinking, given the current Cayenne is massive enough to gravitationally suck in unlucky pedestrians. (Though that makes for a great conversation starter.)

With the standard eight-speed automatic, Porsche claims the 500-hp Turbo model should do the 0-60 in 4.6 seconds. While we can't vouch for those times yet, we can certainly endorse the looks of the new Cayenne. Based on the picture above, it looks a hell of a lot more aggressive than the current model, which from certain angles, looks as awkward as John Edwards at a "Democrats For Fidelity" summit.

We'll have official details of the 2011 Cayenne once the Geneva Auto Show kicks off on March 2nd. However, if you're still itching for another little glimpse of the fun to come...take a look at the 2011 Audi RS5, also debuting at Geneva.

The RS5 cranks out 450 horses from its 4.2 liter V8 without a psi of help from a turbo or supercharger. Putting that grunt to all four wheels is a seven-speed DSG. Audi claims 0-60 comes in 4.6 seconds - oddly enough, the same as the Cayenne Turbo. That's the good news.

The bad news is, Audi hasn't announced whether it'll come stateside yet. Start writing your senators now, folks.

Of course, never one to be left out, Mercedes-Benz has released details about its Geneva star, the F800 Style concept. Mercedes says the F800 indicates the design direction the company intends to follow from now on, and strongly hints at the look of the next0generation CLS. While we think it looks a bit...blunt from the front, there's definitely potential here.

The F800 also comes with a concept car's usual array of apocryphal wonders, like a plug-in hybrid powertrain capable of running from 0-60 in 4.7 seconds while still achieving 81 miles per gallon. To quote Broken Lizard's magnum opus Super Troopers - "I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbert."

Yet sadly, for most of us, a Porsche Cayenne Turbo, Audi RS5, or Mercedes-Benz CLS will remain out of fiscal reach for quite some time. But if your budget only stretches to automotive crack instead of full-out cocaine, fear not: it looks like our old friends at Ford have your back.

Ford execs have dropped a couple subtle hints that the next-generation Ford Focus will not only receive a Rip-Snortin' RS version (would you prefer "Red-asS"?), but that the hardcore Focus will be coming to the U.S. for the first time as well. One word: BOOSH.

The current Focus RS.

The 2012(ish) Focus RS should make around 300 horsepower, thanks to a 2.0 liter turbocharged inline four equipped with Ford's EcoBoost, which is also slang for stealing power from a wind farm.

Finally, from the "No Shit, Sherlock" files, the NHTSA (click the link if you want to know what the acronym's for, we're sick of typing it out) is prepping legislation that would ban texting while driving.

Of course, the NHTSA has no ability to put the laws into effect; they're meant as guidelines for individual states to adopt or edit as they see fit. 19 states and D.C already have similar measures in effect, including, hilariously, seat-belt-averse New Hampshire. (Live Free or Die! Or, rather, Live Free until You Die Being Ejected Through A Windshield At 70 MPH!)

We here at CCO think this is a brilliant idea. While we've got mixed feeling on hands-free-calling-only-while-driving laws (studies have shown they don't reduce distraction compared to holding the phone, and we think people will be more likely to engage in distracting phone calls if it's easier to do), texting while driving is just a bad idea. Period. In fact, on weekends, we at CCO like to pick up a Rent-A-Wreck and perform a little vigilante enforcement by ramming texting drivers right off the road. Tweet about that, will you.

And don't even think about using this fucker.

Anyone who can justify their vanity license plate is okay by us. Bravo, sir.

She's back, and she's an Avalon!

Well, let’s unclench for a moment, and review the facts.

There are actually several recalls on Toyota vehicles happening right now, for a variety of defects. Most prominent is the global recall of around 8.1 million vehicles – 2.3 million vehicles in the U.S. – for a pair of separate accelerator-related issues, either of which could cause unintended acceleration or difficulty stopping. (Generally, not the sorts of things you want in a car.)

The first problem is caused by wear on a defective friction device  in the accelerator, causing the pedal to return to idle more slowly upon release – or not return at all. (The friction device provides the pressure against your foot when you push the gas.) This particular flaw relates to late-model RAV4s, Corollas, Matrixes (Matrices?) Avalons, Camrys, Highlanders, Tundras, and Sequoias.

If you want to mod out your Tundra - this is acceptable.This is not.

The second accelerator-related problem occurs when the gas pedal becomes ensnared in the floor mat; as with the broken friction device, this prevents the accelerator pedal from returning to the idle position. This recall affects late-model Camrys, Avalons, Priuses, Tacomas, Tundras, Highlanders, Corollas, Venzas, Matrixes, and the Lexus IS and ES models. (For a full list of affected models for both recalls, see here.)

On top of those issues, the crown jewels of Toyota’s hybrid lineup – the 2010 Prius and the 2010 Lexus HS 250h – are suffering from a separate recall for a malfunctioning anti-lock brake system, affecting 147,500 cars in the States and 437,000 worldwide. Afflicted cars develop inconsistent brake feel when stopping on slippery surfaces – when ABS is especially important.

There’s also a recall of 7,300 2010 Toyota Camrys for a faulty front brake tube design capable of causing a brake fluid leak; finally, The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has also received more than 80 complaints regarding steering problems with the Corolla – specifically, that the car can wander while on the highway. (Note to buyers: try a heavier car.)

According to U.S. Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood, Toyota only undertook these recalls after extensive coersion by the U.S. government. LaHood says the Japanese manufacturer would not have initiated the recall if not for the urging of Washingon, calling Toyota “a little safety deaf” in an Associated Press interview and vowing to hold the automaker’s “feet to the fire” on Good Morning America.

Ray LaHood, seen here portraying an aged Richard Nixon in the 2009 film Watchmen.

The NHTSA says the floor mat issue alone has been linked to five deaths, while safety advocates claim the two accelerator defects are linked to at least 19 deaths. Toyota executives are scheduled to testify before Congress on February 24th during a hearing about the recalls.

But Toyota isn’t the only Japanese carmaker suffering from recall fever. More than one million Hondas across the globe are being recalled due to faulty airbag inflators. While the first round of the recall covered approximately 646,000 Fits, Jazzes and Citys (man, car names do not lend themselves to pluralization) around the world, the second part covered nearly 379,000 American cars manufactured between 2001 and 2002.

Since you'll probably never see a Honda City in real life, take a peek.

(This latter recall is technically an extension of a separate one issued in July last year; however, you can bet your iPad deposit Honda wouldn’t be expanding it if not for the Fit/Jazz/City recall…or the Toyota issues.)

Luckily, there’s still plenty of positive news in the automotive world. For example: Autocar reports Jaguar is prepping an electric version of its full-size XJ sedan. Like the Chevy Volt and the Fisker Karma sedan, the ElectroJag (and no, that’s not will.i.am’s new nickname) comes with a range-extending gasoline engine to recharge the batteries; in the ElectroJag’s case, a 1.2 liter three-cylinder engine designed by Lotus.

According to Autocar, the car will have a maximum range of around 600 miles, and be limited to 112 mph. The electric motor will reportedly make 145 kilowatts of power – that’s 194 horsepower, for those of you who haven’t memorized the conversion formulae. (Certainly not us.) Interested buyers should be able to pick one up in 2011.

While we’re waiting for the ElectroJag, there are plenty of new models coming out in the meantime to keep auto enthusiasts aroused. First up: from the “I Still Can’t Believe They’re Building This” files, the Mini Cooper Countryman and Cooper S Countryman.

Yes, Mini has made an SUV.

And we like it.

It actually looks fairly attractive. Crossing “adorable” with “butch” could have been disastrous (just imagine Amy Adams on HGH), but the folks at Mini have found a nice compromise. (Even if the front end vaguely resembles a Pandorian catfish.) In addition, the Countryman looks like it maintains a fairly low center of gravity, which, combined with Mini’s usual emphasis on playful dynamics, means handling should be excellent for the teeny-tiny SUV class.

Power in the U.S. comes from what appear to be the same engines powering the other Minis – a naturally aspirated 1.6 liter four-cylinder making 120 horsepower in the Cooper Countryman and a turbocharged version of the same putting down 180 horses in the Countryman S. (Yes, it’s technically “Cooper S Countryman,” but “Countryman S” sounds so Porsche-like.) Both models come with choice of six-speed manual or automatic transmissions, but all-wheel-drive will only be available on the S in the States.

Then again, given that Mini claims basic Countrymans (Countrymen? Jesus…) take 10.5 seconds for the run from naught to 60, the added weight of AWD would probably make things awfully lethargic. Countryman S models will supposedly do it in a much more reasonable 7.6 seconds – probably closer to 8.1 with the AWD. Top speeds are limited to 118 and 128 mph for the Countryman and Countryman S, respectively.

But Mini isn’t the only one seeing how small they can take the SUV concept. Coming from the other side of the globe is Nissan’s Juke, which, while sounding suspiciously like a sassy Autobot, looks more like…a sassy Autobot in need of a new face.

We’re gonna be straight with you: we’re a little weirded out by this thing. You know why? Because we don’t know how to make eye contact with it.

Despite what Pixar wanted us to believe, we all know a car’s headlights are its eyes. For the last 100 years, the front end of just about every car has vaguely resembled a human face. This is probably a large part of what leads us to identify with cars so strongly – to name them, to write songs about them, to take such pride in them. We look at them, and see mechanical people. Mechanical friends. And it all starts by making eye contact with those two headlamps.

 You see? Your eyes go to his headlamps!With the Juke…it’s like meeting somebody with four eyes. You don’t know which ones to look into. It’s like trying to relate to an enormous spider. Do you make contact with those giant foglamps that look like they should be the headlights…or those skinny things high on the fenders? Which ones are its eyes, goddamnit?!

Okay, it's just generally ugly.

Befetting the recession, Audi’s newest model is also their least expensive. Dubbed the A1, the baby Audi is the newest entrant into the luxury subcompact class, a category that in the U.S. includes…um…well, there’s the Mini, we suppose…and the…nope, that’s it. Unsurprisingly, Audi isn’t planning on bringing the diminutive three-door hatch stateside – at least not anytime soon.

Which is too bad, ’cause we’d love to try one on. Powertrain options include two diesel and two gasoline engines linked to a seven-speed twin clutch transmission and the front wheels; with between 86 and 122 horses, power is hardly AMG-esque, but on the bright side, even the thirstiest model averages 44 miles per gallon. (There’s also a 465-watt Bose stereo available, so while you may not be winning many drag races, you can always deafen your foe just before the green light.)

Audi sources say the A1 will spawn a full range of models, from a five-door hatch to a convertible to a S1 with a turbocharged engine making 180 horses. Expect the five-door in 2011 and the other models in 2012.

Volvo, though, has its sights set in a loftier price bracket for their new S60 sedan. The company claims the car is the most “dynamic car model” they’ve ever made; while we can’t support or deny this yet, we certainly can say it is the best-looking Volvo we’ve ever seen.

According to Volvo, the 2011 S60 will offer two separate chassis; European models will have a “dynamic” chassis, while North American and Asian markets receive a one with a “comfort” chassis. Thankfully, the “dynamic” version will be available as a “sport variant” here in the U.S. of A. Coupled up with the car’s optional turbocharged 3.0 liter inline six-cylinder making 304 horsepower and 325 lb-ft of torque, the S60 should do the 0-60 hustle in 6.5 seconds. (AWD is standard on turbocharged models.)

Of course, it wouldn’t be a Volvo if it wasn’t safe. Having taken occupant safety about as far as early 21st century technology can go, the company has moved onto protecting people outside the car. The XC60 sport-ute was first, with its “City Safety” system capable of detecting stopped traffic ahead and automatically applying the brakes to avoid an accident. However, the system only detected cars, and only could completely stop the car from below 10 mph.

The S60, in turn, receives something called “Pedestrian Safety.” Operating along the same principles as City Safety, the new version detects and warns the driver of pedestrians ahead; if the driver doesn’t react, the car applies maximum braking power. Volvo says the system can avoid a collision altogether at speeds up to 22 miles per hour. We’d like to test it by putting Glenn Beck in front of the car. And we bet it’ll stop in time at 35 mph, too.

Our last 2011 model isn’t really all that new or innovative…it’s just one of our old favorites. After a couple years on hiatus, Porsche announced they’re bringing back the 911 Turbo S. 530 horsepower. I mean, come on. From a six-cylinder production car. God bless you, Porsche.

Less awesome is Porsche’s choice to only offer the Turbo S with their seven-speed dual-clutch gearbox, known as Porsche-Doppelkupplungsgetriebe! (That is actually the real name.) Sure, the PDK offers faster shifts, improved fuel economy and automatic shifting when you’re lazy, but the simple fact that Porsche – keeper of purity in the automotive world – is offering their most potent sports car without a stick seems a sign the death of the manual transmission is closer than we think.

Still, Porsche claims 0-60 in 3.3 seconds (and they’re usually conservative), top speed of 195 mph, and 25 miles per gallon. We’ll find a way to live with PDK.

But maybe you need a little more space in your all-weather supercar. Maybe you’ve got kids, maybe your spouse/partner/mother doesn’t want you driving a sports car, maybe you just want something a little more innocuous so the ATF doesn’t have it so easy following you to your warehouse full of smokes, booze and guns.

Once upon a time, you could’ve bought an Audi RS6. Five years ago, it was the 450-horsepower king of the sports-sedan hill; fast as an M5, but with AWD traction. Then Audi brought out a new A6, and Audi stopped importing the RS6.

The good news: Horchaus does it now.

The Canadian subsidiary of MTM Tuners, Horchaus has begun bringing Euro-only Audi models like the current RS6 to the U.S. and Canada. More importantly, not only is Audi okay with this, but Audi is actually prepping the cars to U.S. Department of Transportation standards. It’s 100 percent legal, baby.

Not enough good news? Well, try this on for size: Horchaus’s cars are downright affordable. (Ish.) Choose to buy a R8 5.2 V10 from your local Audi dealer, it’ll cost at least $146,000; have Horchaus bring one over, it costs around $98,000. No idea why Audi’s allowing this, but ya gotta love it.

And that RS6 you wanted? $107,000. A bit more than an equivalent Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG, maybe, but the Audi has all-wheel-drive and 62 more horses. Plus, you can get it as a wagon. How cool is that?

The Bad: Not as fuel-efficient as the EPA would have you think, transmission a bit rebellious.

The Verdict: A near-perfect harmony of speed, style and substance.

The best automobiles are more than transportation appliances. Sure, they move you from place to place just as well as any car, truck, golf cart or Segway – but they do so much more. They inspire passion. They inspire lust. And, like Hugh Grant in any number of estrogen-tastic romantic comedies, despite their flaws, you ultimately come to love them wholeheartedly.

The Audi S4 is one of those cars.

On the surface, the S4 doesn’t seem very different from the A4 on which it’s based. While the S4 receives unique bumpers, a mildly different grille and quad tailpipes in lieu of the A4’s twin pipes, only the hardest core of enthusiasts are likely to notice. It’s a stealthy approach to speed – in stark contrast to the in-your-face aggression of potential competitors like the BMW M3 or the Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG.

(Of course, Audi insists the S4 doesn’t compete with those macho models, instead preferring to stack its stealth sports sedan against the “regular” six-cylinder entry-level luxury sedans – specifically, the BMW 335i, which the S4 is locked onto like a Tomahawk cruise missile.)

The trend of stylish subtlety continues inside, where the biggest variation from the A4 are a pair of sport bucket seats up front – though a handful of other differentiators, such as S4-branded gauges and steering wheel, pop up around the interior. But lack of style was never really a problem with the A4 (at least from my point of view), and the S4’s differences, though minor, add a bit of panache to the car’s looks.

Pop the hood, though, and the changes become a lot more apparent. Instead of the turbocharged 2.0-liter inline four-cylinder in the A4, the S4 runs wild with a 333-horsepower supercharged 3.0 liter V6 capable of propelling the S4 from 0 to 60 in 4.9 seconds, according to both Audi and Car and Driver.

But those numbers seem so cold and abstract compared to those 333 horses. This car is fast. Whee! Fast. The supercharger has effectively no lag (a major advantage blowers have over turbochargers) – punch the throttle, and you’re thrown back into your seat and on your way to that inevitable court date. (“Reckless driving,” my ass…)

While the S4 is based off a front-drive platform (indeed, you can buy a FWD A4 if you really want, but good luck finding one), it thankfully comes with standard all-wheel-drive, which harnesses those gallivanting ponies and sticks them to the ground with the expected Germanic efficiency. Between it and the electronic stability control, even the slipperiest Vermont roads were easily negotiable.

That said, though, click off the ESP, and the S4 will hang its tail out in curves all day long if you want it too (especially on those aforementioned icy dirt roads). I spend the better part of ten minutes baking donuts in the fresh snow of an Asian fusion restaurant parking lot – including several continuous loops around a blue spruce in the middle of the lot. (And I don’t regret it one bit, Ma.)

While a six-speed manual transmission comes standard, my tester put the power down through a seven-speed dual clutch transmission. In the past, I’ve been quite happy with this type of transmission (both in the Audi TT-S and the Mitsubishi Lancer Ralliart), and the S4 was no exception – in automatic mode, shifts are as smooth as a slushbox, while in manual mode, it cracks off shifts with Barry Allen speed.

Adding a seventh, higher gear to the mix adds some virtue to the car’s hefty serving of vice, allowing the S4 to reach an EPA-claimed 28 mpg on the highway and 18 mpg in town. Of course, the EPA test cycle was designed by an engineer who drives like Ralph Nader in a snowstorm, so real-world mileage is a bit lower; I averaged 22.45 miles per gallon over a week of mostly highway driving.

The dual clutch ‘box isn’t perfect, however. Even in manual mode, flooring the throttle in high gear causes the car to drop down several cogs to put you in the heart of the powerband again. In automatic mode, this certainly makes sense, but presumably any driver who’s enabled manual mode wants to make his or her own decisions – and if he/she wants to, say, test top-gear acceleration along the New Jersey Turnpike without being unexpectedly flung towards the Pennsylvania state line, that’s his or her perogative.

Less startling but more annoying, the aluminum paddles on the back of the steering wheel are on the small side – small enough to be all but invisible behind the spokes at 9 and 3 o’clock. I presume this was an intentional move to keep them out of the way for drivers who don’t want to be bothered with shifting for themselves – but it seems kind of a burn to the enthusiasts who, presumably, make up a hefty percentage of the S4’s clientele.

Quibbles aside, the S4’s powertrain makes for one hell of a fun ride; luckily, when the road turns curvy, the suspension and chassis proves more than capable of cashing the checks the supercharged V6 loves to write all over the pavement. As with true sports cars, the S4’s limits will almost always lie beyond those of your nerves (at least on public roads).

Push the car into turns, and it urges you on, encouraging and emboldening you. While the steering can be heavy at low speeds, it lightens up as the car builds velocity, never feeling floaty or disconnected. Few cars instill as much confidence in their drivers as the S4 does.

On a side note, this was the first Audi I’ve tested lacking the Audi Drive Select system, which allows the driver to adjust the suspension, steering and drivetrain’s responsiveness. To what degree the ADS improves non-“S” models, I’m still unsure, but given my experience with the S4, I’d be hard-pressed to imagine how the system could improve on the car’s dynamics – at least, not enough to warrant its $3,950 price.

Of course, sport sedans promise a measure of convenience along with performance – after all, as Mitt Romney learned, society tends to frown on strapping your dog to the roof of your car; there will be times you need that extra room. Not surprisingly, the S4 offers all the convenience of the A4 it’s based on – it just goes faster. Granted, it’s still on the smaller end of the sedan spectrum; it’s possible to fit three adults and a week’s worth of luggage into the car, but let’s just say my backseat-dwelling father would probably not enjoy repeating that drive from Boston to New York City anytime soon. (Especially since he had to share the rear bench with several large bags.)

The Bottom Line:

For anyone seeking maximum driving excitement for around $50,000 without sacrificing utility, the S4 is as good as it gets. It’ll take winding back roads like a sports car at noon and let you drive octogenarian ladies to and from dinner at night. The S4 packs 95 percent of the fun of a sports car with 100 percent of the comfort and handiness of a four-door luxury sedan.

As an automotive journalist, people often ask, “If you could have one car, regardless of price, what would it be?” Usually, I’ll respond with my supercar crush du jour, then offer a quippy remark about the fun factor overwhelming the little inconveniences – crappy gas mileage, hefty insurance rates, lack of room, tricky behavior in town, and so forth.

But today? I might just tell them, “Audi S4.”

Base Price/Price As Tested: $48,125/$53,450

0-60: 4.9 seconds (courtesy Car and Driver)

Fuel Economy: 18 city/28 highway (EPA estimate); 22.45 mpg (observed)

Key Competitors: BMW 335i/335xi, Ford Taurus SHO, Cadillac CTS

Literally.

Of course, could is the key word here. From the footage, it's not entirely clear whether the volks at Mercedes actually sacked up and went for this testosterone-fueled stunt, or whether, like your prom date, they just faked the climax.

Most of the Interwebs seems to believe it was faked, citing everything from the over-rendered appearance of the vehicle at the Moment of Truth to the fact that only Chuck Norris possesses the ability to barrel roll a car inside a tunnel. As much as it pains us to admit it, we think it's probably faked, too. I mean, don't you think if Mercedes was gonna attempt this feat, they'd bring a couple journalists along to see (and Tweet about it)?

The bright spot of news here, though, is that the SLS looks a helluva lot better in motion than it does in static pictures. I mean, that B-pillar is still as ugly as Jay Leno in the morning, and the SLR packed a lot more visual Sturm und Drang. But based on the video (and that exhaust note!), we're willing to move the SLS from the "Not Interested" column to "We'll Consider It."

(*Cough, cough - loan us one, Mercedes - cough, cough**)

But unfortunately, very close to those two columns in our Enormous Anal-Retentive Spreadsheet of Cars is one entitled "Why Didn't They Build It, God?" Populated for years by such cars as the Cadillac Sixteen, Chrysler ME412 and Bentley Hunaudières, the next-generation Acura NSX was one of the most recent and grieved-over additions to the list. Powered by a 5.5 liter, 600+ horsepower V10 routed through a race-optimized version of the company's Super-Handling All Wheel Drive!, the NSX2 was nearly finished with development (including running the Wagnerian Nürburgring racetrack in 7 minutes 37 seconds on its first try) when Honda pulled the plug to focus on "fuel-efficient vehicles." Dicks.

To this day, for Hondaphiles and auto enthusiasts, "Where Were You When They Killed The New NSX?" prompts the same sort of emotional jolt as asking "Where Were You When Kennedy Was Shot?" Perhaps the only real peace to be found was in Honda's announcement that the finished product would have looked very similar to Acura's 2007 Advanced Sports Car Concept, a supercar-shaped dose of Valium if there ever was one.

That's it - preach it, Homer.

Then today, Honda releases photos of their HSV-10 GT race car - and it's like seeing that girl you always wanted to ask out in high school on the cover of the Victoria's Secret catalog.

This is what the NSX was going to look like, isn't it, Honda? Don't bullshit me here. I can see it in that rear angle. You were all set to unleash a 625-horsepower AWD supercar that looked like a furious Ferrari 599 GTB, and you killed it? What were you thinking?

Was it that you were going to lose money on each one you sold? Well, of course you were - Toyota's losing money on every Lexus LFA they sell, and they're going for $350K. You were gonna sell a comparable car for 47 percent of the price - it would have been cheaper to upholster every Accord in the world in mink.

But a car like the NSX isn't about the cost. It's about Showing Your Power. Screw any argument about "bringing people into showrooms" or "generating interest in the brand" - nobody goes into a Chevy dealership to ogle a ZR1 then thinks, "Gee, this Cobalt must be just as cool, since it's right next to the Corvette!" An unprofitable supercar is an automaker's way of saying, "Our cars are so successful, we could literally afford to flush wads of cash down the toilet. But instead, we're gonna take that money and build a car so cool, people will idolize it for the rest of the century."

One more thing, Honda: you also have to keep up with the Joneses. Toyota has the LFA. Nissan has the GT-R. And you're out several million bucks in R&D with nothing to show for it. Ball's in your court.

Still, so long as the heat in the Cobo Center works, journalists from across the globe will cram their North Face parkas and .357 Magnum Colt Pythons into overnight bags and journey to Motor City for one of the largest auto shows in the world. This year was a bittersweet one for the three home-team automakers: bitter for GM, who saw four divisions exorcised from its corporate ranks after tossing all its self-respect into Lake Michigan by declaring bankruptcy and taking federal bailout money; but sweet for Ford, who managed to avoid Chapter 11 and saw its first profitable quarter in nearly two years.

And Chrysler? Well, they're owned by Fiat now. Actually, do they even count as one of the Big Three anymore?

Regardless of whether Chrysler considers their home in The Boot of Italy or The Mitten of Michigan, in the minds of most people, they still count as a good ol' American boys. Unfortunately, Chrysler/Fiat considered new model revelations and press conferences excessive expenditures this year, and simply left their models out on the floor for perusal. (At least they showed up, unlike Porsche and Nissan. Uncool, guys.) Luckily, though, plenty of other new models and concepts came into the light at the show. Here are the best.

Audi e-tron concept

Astute readers of this blog may be thinking, "Didn't I already see the e-tron?" And the short answer is, yes, you did. But not this one. Audi has, somewhat inexplicably, decided to use the exact same name for this smaller electric sports car concept as they used for their larger, R8-based version. The difference, you see, is that the R8-based original is just called "e-tron," while this new concept is...the "e-tron." Come on, Audi! You're German - Germans make up new words all the time by smashing them together. Couldn't you call it the "Smallersilverelectricsportscar?"

Regardless of what you call it, the baby e-tron will reportedly run from 0-60 in 5.9 seconds with a top speed of 124 mph, thanks to a pair of electric motors with a combined output of 204 horsepower. Of course, since the baby e-tron is just a concept, this could be entirely hypothetical; the show car may well be powered by a hamster on a wheel for all we know.

More importantly for car fans, the e-tron 2-seater's design may be a preview of Audi's rumored upcoming R4 sports car. There's no way to know for sure, but Audi could do a lot worse than pattern the R4 on this aggressive-looking concept. Slap the S4's 333-hp supercharged V6 in there and stack it up against the Porsche Cayman (Whoops! VW owns Porsche now) - er, BMW Z4, and they could have a winner on their hands.

2011 BMW 740i/740Li

This isn't the first time BMW has sold a 740i in the States - two generations of 7-series ago, it was the mainstay of the lineup - but it is the first time since 1992 that Americans can order a six-cylinder engine in the car. The last version, the 735i, made do with a mere 208 horsepower; the new 740i packs BMW's sublime turbocharged 3.0 liter inline six making 315 horsepower.

 Presumably, Bimmer is bringing the six-cylinder 7 our way in order to improve its fuel-economy standings; odds are, if you can afford the $71,025 base price, you're probably not too concerned with saving cash at the pumps, and if you really wanted to be green, you'd buy a loaded Prius and pocket the extra $40,000. Still, for the handful of high-powered executives who don't care about power (Do I see one standing in the back? No? Okay.), the 740 offers pretty much all the luxury features of its pricier brethren for a nice discount.

Buick Regal GS Concept

From the land of seemingly oxymoronical concepts comes this high-performance Buick. Okay, "high-performance" is a bit of an exaggeration - the all-wheel-drive GS runs with a turbocharged 2.0 liter four-cylinder making 260 horsepower, a mere 40 more than the current top-of-the-line Regal. But the GS has a six-speed stick shift! I don't think there's been a manual Buick since Clint Eastwood was a sex symbol.

Buick promises the GS achieves 60 in less than 6 seconds, which probably means 5.9. What they haven't promised is a production version; however, it seems pretty likely, as it would give Buick a strong card to play against Acura and Lexus. Buick has made impressive strides in the last few years in making their cars more attractive and elevating their quality towards the levels of other luxury makes; adding high(er) performance models would be a logical next step. It's probably safe to expect the GS in the showrooms by spring 2011.

2011 Cadillac CTS-V Coupe

It wasn't long ago that the idea of a high-performance Caddy would have seemed just as paradoxical as a fun-to-drive Buick; however, since the first-generation CTS and the introduction of the V-Series line of kickass Caddies, the idea has latched onto the car enthusiast population like an alien face-hugger.

And the new CTS-V Coupe is probably the sweetest Cadillac yet.

Everything you love about the regular CTS-V, just in a sleeker two-door package. Same 556 horsepower supercharged V8, same choice of six-speed stick or auto - just two fewer doors. Sure, there's less room in the back, but come on - how often do you use those rear doors anyway? Besides, chicks dig coupes. Just ask Batman.

Pricing will probably be a few grand more than the CTS-V sedan, so figure a base one will set you back around $67,000 when they land in showrooms this summer - a few grand more than its main competitor, the BMW M3. But the Caddy has 142 more horses. And, like George Thorogood, it's American Made. So give it a little love.

Cadillac XTS Platinum Concept

The last ten years or so have been lean times for folks interested in full-sized American luxury cars. Mafia dons, Fortune 500 executives, and your Grandpa Larry have watched with sadness as their beloved Town Cars, Park Avenues and DeVilles drifted off into the ether, leaving them with a difficult choice - buy European (I ain't buying no Nazi car!), downsize (I don't feel safe in this thing!) or move into a luxury mega-SUV (I can't see my grandson behind me in the driveway!).

Luckily, it looks like CEOs and coots alike will be able to breathe a sigh of relief soon. While technically a concept, the XTS is likely a very strong indicator of Cadillac's upcoming full-sized sedan, slated to replace the STS and the DTS - both of which, remarkably, are still available at your local Caddy dealership.

In concept form, the XTS is powered by Cadillac's 3.6 liter V6 direct injection V6 coupled to a plug-in hybrid system; combined, the car puts out 350 horsepower and 295 lb-ft of torque through a six-speed auto. It's unclear from the press release how the electric and gasoline powertrains interact exactly, but we'd bet both can be used to drive the wheels - unlike the Chevy Volt, where the gas engine is used simply as a generator for the batteries and electric motor.

Hopefully, any production version of the XTS won't differ significantly from the show car's sleek lines, which (in our eyes) meld the CTS with the Mercedes-Benz S-class. Plan on a choice of V6 and V8 powerplants upon launch, with a hybrid option soon afterwards. As for when it lands in dealerships - summer or fall 2011 seems like a safe bet.

And on a side note, GM's vice-chairman and Main Car Bro Bob Lutz announced Cadillac will indeed be producing its own version of the Chevrolet Volt, based on the Converj. It won't be hitting the streets until sometime after 2012 (assuming we're still alive by then! DUM DE DUM!), and will probably be pretty faithful to the concept - two doors and edgy styling over the Volt's four doors and slightly bland looks. And it'll probably cost more than $50,000. But I'd still buy one.

Chevrolet Aveo RS Concept

Like the looks of this Aveo RS? Then you'll probably like the regular Aveo when it hits the ground next year. Just strip off the spoilers, the ground effects, and throw on some more conventional headlamps. With its sights locked squarely on the Honda Fit, the Aveo will take the bottom rung in Chevy's lineup.

The concept has a turbocharged 1.4 liter inline four-cylinder engine under the hood pumping out 138 horsepower, and routing it to the front wheels through a six-speed manual. If they're smart, Chevy will actually produce a high-performance version of the Aveo; we've been wishing Honda would do a Fit Si for years, and if the Chevy is anywhere near as fun to drive as the Fit, they could sell a boatload. Hell, we'd probably buy one.

2012 Ford Focus

Not to be outdone in the small-car department by their arch-foes at GM, Ford unveiled the next-generation Focus in Detroit - and as Peter Griffin would say, it seems freakin' sweet. For the first time, the Focus sold here in the States will be nearly identical to the version sold in Europe, which should mean European-style (i.e. better) handling and materials when it lands here early next year.

Equipped with a 2.0 liter inline four-cylinder making 155 horsepower and 145 lb-ft of torque, the Focus comes with your choice of six-speed transmissions - manual or "dry-clutch automatic," which is just a fancy term for the sort of dual-clutch gearbox found in everything from the Ferrari 458 Italia to the Volkswagen Golf. Ford also announced a electric-powered version, which should be coming our way in later 2011.

Coming in both five-door hatchback and four-door sedan forms, the new Focus boasts a bevy of cool features most people probably wouldn't expect on a compact car, from an assisted parallel-parking system (complete with rearview camera) and an eight-inch dash-mounted touch screen. Pricing hasn't been announced, but expect it to be pretty much in line with its competitors - the Honda Civic, Toyota Corolla, Nissan Sentra, and upcoming Chevy Cruze.

2011 Ford Mustang GT

Hot on the heels of upgrading the V6-powered Mustang to 315 horsepower, Ford is throwing a new 5.0 liter V8 under the hood of the 'Stang GT, bumping power up to 412 horses. While still down a few ponies  to the Camaro SS and Challenger SRT8, the revised 'Stang should be lighter than its fellow muscle cars, giving it an edge in the curves (and probably on the straights too).

Pricing is still unknown, but since the installation of the new V6 didn't jack up the base Mustang's price very much, expect to pay around the same amount for the 5.0 as the old 4.6 liter V8. (Anal-retentives, please not the emphasis placed on the word around. There, did it once more just to ensure you understood.)

GMC Granite Concept

As the first American entrant into the "funky box"category of small cars pioneered here by the Scion xB, the Granite raises the style bar a few notches higher. Up 'til now, the small boxes like the xB, Kia Soul and Nissan Cube had convenience in spades, but good looks weren't part of the deal.

But the Granite manages to make boxy look badass. Running the same engine as the Aveo RS Concept in a more utilitarian package, performance isn't really the name of the game here - 138 horses is adequate, nothing more, nothing less.

However, GMC insisted on extolling the Granite as a "flexible, functional social space...equally at home at the cabin or the club." News flash, PR flaks - any place with more than one person is a social space.

2011 Honda CR-Z

Though we've already seen it in leaked brochure photos, it was nice to finally see Honda's new sporty hybrid coupe in the metal for the first time at the show. Looking pretty much like what you'd expect the Insight to be had it remained a coupe,  the tiny Honda promises to be a pretty fun drive. 

With a 1.5 liter inline four under the hood connected to Honda's "Integrated Motor Assist" hybrid bits, the CR-Z (the "Crazy?") puts down 122 horsepower and either 128 or 123 lb-ft of torque, depending on whether you choose the six-speed manual or the CVT. (The manual has the higher torque figure, because manuals are awesome that way.) Fuel economy is estimated at 31 mpg city/37 mpg highway for the stick, and 36/38 mpg for the CVT - so if you do a lot of city driving, it might be worth it to go auto. Maybe.

The CRaZy will go on sale here in the latter part of 2010, in two forms - base and EX. The base model will hardly be a stripper, as it will reportedly feature a six-speaker CD/USB stereo, automatic climate control, stability control, power everything, keyless entry and cruise control. Should you feel compelled to move to the EX, you'll add a 360-watt seven-speaker stereo, xenon headlights, and Bluetooth, among other features. The base sounds pretty good to us, honestly. No details on price yet, but our fingers are crossed for the base model to land under $20,000.

2012 (?) Mercedes-Benz CLS

Sadly, the next-generation of Mercedes's four-door "coupe" wasn't really at the show. However, M-B did have a model showing off the basic shape of the new CLS. From the looks of it, it seems Mercedes was trying to replicate the shape of the car under a sheet; however, the guys at egmCarTech thought it looked more like Robert Patrick's liquid-metal T-1000 oozing into the shape of a car, and quite frankly, we have to agree. But if the car is as pretty as the display implies, it won't need to shape-shift to snare people's attention.

Mini Beachcomber Concept

Do you miss the Mini Moke? (Hell, do you even know what the Mini Moke is?) Well, for those of you with a fondness for the old pseudo-off-roader still found carving up beaches on St. Barts, Mini has just the car for you.

Well, you can't actually buy the Beachcomber. It's more of a concept version of Mini's upcoming small SUV, which will probably be called the "Countryman." (We're still pulling for the "Countrymouse," but only if they rename the Cooper the "Citymouse.") When the actual Mini-SUV hits the dirt roads, don't expect to see the Beachcomber's removable doors or spare-tire-like "backpack;" do expect the elevated ride-height, knobbier tires and available all-wheel-drive. Hopefully we'll be seeing the production version sometime this year.

Volkswagen New Compact Coupe Hybrid Concept

No, we didn't add the "new" to the name - Volkswagen did. Frankly, we're not sure why, since so far as we remember, there wasn't an Old Compact Coupe Hybrid Concept. But whatever they call it, we're grateful, because the NCCHC promises to be a pretty sweet little ride.

Coming across like a Honda CR-Z Plus, the NCCHC packs a 1.5 liter turbocharged and supercharged inline four connected to enough hybrid pieces to provide a combined 177 horsepower and 45 miles per gallon. I believe the technical term for that is "win/win."

While the car may be called a concept, it looks pretty damn production ready to us. Of course, VW's thrown us curveballs before - remember the Nardo supercar concept? - but there's a world of difference between producing a quarter-million-dollar supercar and an inexpensive hybrid sports car. Hell, just ask Honda - who canned the new NSX most of the way through its production cycle. Luckily, rumor has it the NCCHC will be heading stateside as a coupe version of the new Jetta - hopefully with hybrid powertrain intact.

All in all, it wasn't a huge year for the Detroit show. No show-stopping concepts, no earth-shaking revelations - just a whole bunch of pretty exciting new cars. And to be frank, we're okay with that. Given the last couple years in the automotive world, a little piece and quiet seems rather nice, doesn't it?

First out of the gate, some excellent news for all fans of cheap speed (and apart from drug dealers and overprotective mothers, who isn’t?). With Toyota and Subaru’s jointly developed rear-wheel-drive coupe coming down the pipe, other Asian automakers are scrambling to pump out small, inexpensive sports cars to compete with the Toyobaru. (While Toyota is now calling the concept version the FT-86, we still prefer the portmanteau.)

According to Inside Line, Nissan is considering a new small sports car for the 2011-2012 time frame, to slot under the 370Z. Should the coupe receive the green light, it will likely pack a 200-horsepower, 1.8 liter turbo four cylinder, along with the same six-speed manual/seven-speed auto choices from the Z. Insiders say styling may resemble the company’s 2005 Foria concept – which would be a shame, ’cause the Foria is kinda homely to our eyes. As for a name, we’re hoping Nissan axes the 240SX moniker for our shores. (Note to Nissan: don’t use the letters “S” and “X” next to each other in your car’s name.)

"I shall call it...MINI-Z!"Okay, fine, here's the Foria.While Mazda would seem to already have a strong foe for the Toyobaru in the Miata, it seems they’re not content to place all their hopes on The Car That Saved The Roadster. Instead, they’re replacing the Jack LaLanne-like RX-8 with a new RX-7. Given the name change, it’s likely the new car will ditch the tiny suicide doors of the RX-8 and return to the two-door layout of the prior RX-7. A new version of Mazda’s Renesis rotary engine will be plopped under the hood, likely pumping out between 200 and 250 horsepower. According to Inside Line, Mazda hopes to keep the price around $25,000 when the car hits the streets – hopefully as early as 2011.

Adieu, wacky RX-8. You will be missed.However, Toyota and Subaru are facing threats from across the Sea of Japan, as well. AutoCar claims Kia is drafting up plans for a RWD sports car based off the Hyundai Genesis Coupe’s platform, and featuring styling similar to the Kee Coupe Concept. However, in a surprisingly earnest admission, Kia design director Peter Schreyer says the company needs to “grow a little more in stature” before the marketplace would be ready to accept such a sporty Kia, adding the car could be ready in around five years. We say: Kia, grow a pair and put this baby on the market in two. Charge a grand less than Toyota and Nissan, and with the Genesis Coupe’s chassis and a cleaned-up version of the Kee body, you’ll sell every one you can crate over here.

This is of course in addition to the Honda CR-Z Hybrid headed for our shores in latter 2010; while the CR-Z’s front-drive hybrid layout means it won’t exactly be a direct competitor for the spate of RWD coupes, you can bet at least a few people will be cross-shopping the Toyobaru and Co. with the Honda.

Thanks to Temple of VTEC for this leaked CR-Z image.

For some folks out there, though, cost isn’t an issue when it comes to buying a car. We here at CCO, sadly, don’t belong to that fraternity of rock stars, trust fund babies, and un-dateable social media founders; however, should our platinum-plated ship come in (a Powerball ticket also would do it), most of us would put the Ferrari 599 Fiorano right at the top of our list of purchases. (As in, we’ve figured out how long it would take to get to Miller Motorcars of Greenwich, CT and place our order.)

So when we saw what one wealthy bastard fellow had done to a perfectly good 599, we wanted to pull an Elvis and put a couple .44 Magnum hollow-points through our television. No, we don’t browse the Web on our TV – it’s just that the prick gentleman in question happens to be the son of John Walson, inventor of cable television.

"Hello, U.N.? I'd like to report a crime against humanity."

Edward Walson (bet he doesn’t like being called Eddie, either) used a portion of his shit-tastically huge inheritance to commission Ferrari’s Special Projects Division (Motto: “Cooler Than Your Job”) to whip up this golden turd after being inspired by a one-off Ferrari from the 1968 Federico Fellini film Tony Dammit. This is like asking Lockheed’s Skunk Works to take an F-22 Raptor and attach two extra wings because you always wanted an X-Wing starfighter.

While Walson and Ferrari call it the P540 Superfast Aperta, the rest of us would rather just call it  a mistake. So if you happen to see this monstrosity parked on the street, please, do every car lover (and person with sight) a favor and drive your car into it at high speed. (Safety first, though – reverse into it, please.) If this 599 could talk, it would be begging to be put down. Don’t make it suffer.

Blessedly, our other piece of Ferrari news today is much sunnier. According toQuattroruote (the article’s in Italian), the Italian automaker will be unveiling its new hybrid system in a 599-based concept at the 2010 Geneva Motor Show. Fuel economy is expected to receive a 35 percent bump, allllll the way up to 14 miles per gallon. Should the electric motor power the front wheels as we previously reported, Geneva will be unveiling a 599 with all-wheel-drive, improved handling and more miles per gallon. It’s as though God heard the prayers of every Ferrari-lover in New England.

A Ferrari 599 GTB, in what is obviously New Hampshire.Finally, Aston Martin has released a few images of the completed version of its Cygnet concept, and it looks as adorable as a cartoon owl. Which is to say, pretty damned un-Aston Martin like.

The Aston Martin CygnetOwly

The Cygnet – which we remind you is pretty much a Toyota iQ under those pretty headlights – remains a concept for the moment, though Aston’s press release reiterated the company’s desire for the car to “become a production reality,” in an apparent effort to negate the machismo imbued upon the brand from the last three Bond movies. (And that Daniel Crag musk doesn’t come off easily.)

If Aston really wants an environmentally friendly micro-car for their line, we’d like to make the same suggestion we made to Mercedes-Benz when they brought to Smart over here (and by “made,” we mean “yelled at a billboard”): MAKE IT ELECTRIC. Yank out that dinky gas engine and strap in an electric motor with enough torque to chirp the tires. If it’s supposed to be a city car, low-speed performance is far more important than top speed. You only need enough juice to make it 50-75 miles, anyway; any further than that, and your driver will probably want to take their other Aston anyway.

Anyway, that’s it for us this year! Happy New Year, and here’s to an exciting and successful 2010!